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Top 100 Great Horror Movies Followed By Crappy SequelsĨ0. Top 100 Most Amusing Portrayals Of Zero GravityĨ1. Top 100 Scenes Where A Character Has A Bad Experience With Crazy GlueĨ3. Top 100 Smoking Moments With Stars Who Eventually Died From Lung Cancer Or EmphysemaĨ5. Top 100 Movies Entirely Ruined By Giving Away A Single Spoiler From The PlotĨ6. * Designed the unpronouncable symbol by which Prince was known for 7 years.ĭespite that last one, I heard that Imperial Veterans Against Star Wars is STILL continuing to support him.Ĩ7. * Killed the scientist who invented the 200 mpg carburetor. * Was the first person to say to a Palestinian, 'Ya know, if you pushed the Jews into the sea, you'd finally have your own homeland.' * Converted 'Who Let the Dogs Out?' into a ringtone. * While head elf for Santa, he would randomly remove kids' names from the 'nice' list. * Stalked the streets of London as 'Jesse the Ripper' * Planned the Imperial defense of Endor's moon against the Ewoks.

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* Programming code writer for the HAL 9000 computer. * Spent days chumming the waters off Amity Beach right before tourist season.

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* Worked as a boy-toy delivery driver for Michael Jackson. * Told Natalie Maines what to say through a hidden earpiece during the Dixie Chicks infamous London concert. * Personally light-sabered the entire village of Tusken Raiders who killed his mom. * While working for Hitler, he invented the Jewsy-Bake Oven.

I'm sure that - thirty years from now - CBS will find memos that confirm his story, as well as some of the other claims he made during his startling video interview: However, one small fib (ok, THREE) shouldn't make you doubt Jesse's character. Only problem being that he didn't actually DO any toddler-slaughtering. In order to make America look bad, Iraq Veterans Against the War hooked up with compulsive liar Jesse MacBeth, who made up wild stories of his adventures in toddler-slaughtering while he served in Iraq. Is there anything else I need? Well… uh… tell Alberto to share his burritos!' That was from Star Wars I'm so proud you recognized that. Well, I don't think I did anything wrong, but you stay away from Congress! You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. I didn't understand the charges they said they'll explain them to me in court tomorrow. 'Hey, Laura! I need you to bail me out of prison again. 'When you're on your way out could you give this to a guy waiting on the corner?' Hastert handed something wrapped in tin foil to Bush.īush dialed a number on the phone. 'Then let Congress do what Congress does.' 'Dubya, why don't you get out of here before we pass a bipartisan declaration saying that you're a square,' Hastert said.

'I'll feast upon your blood!' Pelosi shrieked and leapt at Bush, but Hastert held her back with his pimp cane. 'Are you trying to keep the FBI from finding out you're actually an evil sewer mutant?' 'What do you have to hide?' Bush asked suspiciously. 'That's just the Executive Branch overreaching.' 'He thinks he needs to let the FBI investigate our offices,' Hastert explained. Nancy Pelosi walked over and looked at Bush with disgust. Just look at my poll numbers I ain't got nothing to lose.' 'There ain't nothing to find here, so why don't you get out of here before I put my foot up your ass.'īush rolled up his sleeves. 'I know something is going on here!' Bush declared. 'Sounds like someone is in need of a pimp slap!' 'What kid snitched on me?' Hastert demanded angrily as he shook his cane in the air. 'Then how come I heard that you’re selling drugs to the kids who come here on field trips?' 'What's the matter, Dubya? Everything is cool here.' He was wearing a pimp hat, holding a pimp cane, and surrounded by hos. 'Where are you, Denny? It's time to talk.'ĭennis Hastert turned to face Bush. 'First, I'll need one of your burritos because I'm hungry.'īush kicked open the doors to Congress. 'It's time to break up whatever racket they have going.' He looked to Alberto. 'Last time I visited them, I think I saw them forging my signature on bills.' Bush shot to his feet and knocked over his desk. 'Something is up with that Congress!' Bush declared. When I came to search for more bribery evidence, they told me to 'go eat some burritos.' I think that might have been an ethnic slur, but I still took the suggestion.' Alberto took a bite from his burrito. 'Those gringos in Congress keep trying to stop me from investigating them. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales stormed into the Oval Office.

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